[RPG] [AT][Falasan] Rumours

[psymann]

Roleplay from Crip Grindle   (6 days, 22 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in Falasan (~100 recipients)

Sir Crip opens the Book of Abundance to Appendix CLXXXVI: "Punctuation 
and Grammar: Punctuation."

Crip: [reading aloud] You will have noticed that throughout this book, 
we have followed the accepted norms of finishing every sentence with a 
full stop. This sentence is no exception. Sentences are also started 
with a capit... yes, yes, I know how to write a sentence.

Crip: ...between each word, we place a space, so that it is possible to 
distinguish... gracious me, this is elementary stuff.

Crip: Aha! Appendix CLXXXVII: "Puncuation and Grammar: Advanced 
Punctuation." ...colons may be used in the following contexts: when 
introducing a list of items, or when giving an explanation of what has 
gone before, as in the case of this sentence. It is incorrect to place a 
hyphen after the colon in this situation.

Crip: Daah, daah, daah, yes, ah, examples... ah!

So, for example:

Writing so, for example:

would be quite properly written so, but so, for example:-

would contain an un-necessary hyphen.

(We suppose that while those of noble birth would never considering 
using more than just :, as literacy spreads to the ranks of the common 
nobles, their inferiority breeds such poor punctuation as the use of :-)

Crip: [thumping the book shut in triumph] Liert!

Crip's scribe comes running

Crip: Please copy down the final passage of Appendix CLXXVII, and send 
it directly to Sir Friedroch. Tell him that it should answer his question.

Liert takes the book, opens it, raises an eyebrow, but nods, and gets 
writing, and Sir Crip leaves him to it, while he goes to find some brandy.

----------

Sir Friedroch,

Here is a copy of Appendix CLXXVII, of the Book of Abundance. This 
should answer your question.

Appendix CLXXVII: The Benefits of Undergarments for the Modern Noble.

One of the chief benefits of undergarments is that of warmth. It is 
never satisfactory when you find yourself chilly in your nether regions, 
and some academics suggest that a chill in such areas can cause 
infertility. If you have been having trouble creating children, you may 
find it to be due to your lack of undergarments.

Another benefit is less talked about, but we would be wrong not to 
include it in this book. That is one of allure. For a fine set of 
undergarments, in the right light, and with the right confidence, can 
certainly be a fine sight. It would be quite wrong to display oneself in 
such attire outside matrimony, but the effect would be memorable 
nonetheless. If you are searching for a quick, dramatic, and somewhat 
dishonourable way to attract members of the opposite sex, undergarments 
have their place.

A third benefit is wear and tear of clothing. Clothing must survive life 
during our busy routines, and it is sometimes hard to find a good 
tailor. You can reduce the need for darning of your outer clothing, and 
save gold at the tailor's, if you protect your clothing with the use of 
undergarments. If you are in need of a way to save money and avoid 
repairs to your clothing, you need look no further than undergarments.

The final benefit discussed in this chapter (you can find further 
benefits discussed in Appendix CLXXVIII) is one of literacy. Discarded 
undergarments can be added to other rags, and these rags can be 
transformed into a basic form of paper. Paper is in increasing demand, 
as literacy rates rise across the world, and as nobles insist on sending 
multiple letters to their whole realm about the slightest event. With 
demand for paper increasing, undergarments, once used for their original 
purposes, have a great role to play in the supply of paper to scribes 
across the land.

Sir Crip Grindle
Royal Treasurer of Falasan

----------

Liert turns his nose up as he finishes writing, and sniffs the paper 
once or twice. Shrugging, he reads back through the letter, shakes his 
head, raises his eyebrow again and smiles broadly, before sealing the 
envelope and addressing it to Sir Friedroch.