[RPG] [FEI][Advy] Darius - A new (albeit homicidally minded) companion

[Alex Davies]

Darius roamed the streets of Topenah, amongst its bustling trade and crowds, 
and sought out the blacksmith.

The sale of his swords that had broken from previous beast hunts, plus 
bounty hunting had left him quite well off, but Darius felt it was time to 
get a new sword. As the sun set, he had found a sword amongst the 
blacksmiths that he liked the look of, a great sword that had cost a pretty 
penny. Happy with his purchase though, he returned to his inn in the slums 
and after a few drinks, listening to the tales being spun by the other 
residents, he retired.

The next morning, Darius headed out for another monster hunt, After an hours 
searching though, a voice asked "So, are we going to kill something now?"

Darius looked around, but the immediate vicinity of the old city, where he 
was hunting, appeared to be deserted except for him.

"Well?" demanded the voice again. Listening more closely, Darius was sure 
the voice was coming from the sword itself.

"Uh, I was looking, but this seems rather odd..."

The voice of the sword snorted.

"Oh come on! You just have to go out, find someone and smack them with the 
sharp end! How hard is that?"

"I was referring to you talking."

"Hm. The sword appeared to be thinking."Well, I guess that makes you one 
lucky guy. The talking sword of something or other. Makes for a great 
reputation. I think you wree going to kill something? Come ON! what's so 
tough about getting going!"

Darius sighed and continued with the hunt, mentally blocking out the swords 
whinging. After a few hours and several dead monsters later, he sat down on 
the pile of corpses, while the sword was ecstatic.

"Hit it! Hit it again! HAHAHAHA! Hey, why'd you stop?"

Darius sighed. ""The monsters are dead, you know. Not a bad catch, a few 
silver."

"Hm." The sword sank into a thoughtful silence.

Darius stretched a bit and then it occurred to him that the sword might have 
some ideas. Certainly it was worth a try. He reached for the sword, holding 
it front of him, and addressing the hilt.

"Might you have any advice, sentient sword?"

"Advice eh? Hm. Well, besidesa working on your swordsmanship, besides that, 
'd have to think." The sword paused again, before resuming with excessive 
eagerness. "Ooh, ooh, I know!"

"Well?"

"Find someone rich, and kill them!"

"Yes, well, that's what I'm trying to do, without getting chucked in jail, 
you see." Darius replied, a tad testily.

"No, you don't get it! You kill them, and then take their cash. Then you 
find someone richer, and kill them too!"

"I don't think-" Darius began, but was cut off (metaphorically speaking) by 
the sword.

"And then you find a really really rich guy... and then you kill them too! 
Hack and slash your way to fame and fortune! WOOHOO!"

Darius rose, and sheathed the sword once again, ignoring its ravings, and 
headed back to the inn, feeling very tired suddenly.
----
The1exile (AKA SniperChief)

"The greatest work of fiction, since vows of fidelity were included in the 
French marriage service."

--Captain Edmund Blackadder

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